From my soul

Instagram has become a place of vulnerability for me. Just like this blog, I pour my heart out with the intention of healing both myself, and maybe just maybe, someone else too. I wanted a special place here on my blog dedicated to sharing the captions I post on Instagram. If you feel called to have a look for yourself here is my Instagram: @_sunkissed_soul
I am always writing and creating new content so expect this to continuously grow more and more, one post at a time.
Sending love and lights always...

you know the words, the ones you didn't know you needed?
they could be the very smallest of words. but they just fit into an empty space. a space you never knew you needed filling until you heard those words. not the words that stir your soul and ignite your flame. although these words are beautiful and marvellous, there's just something about those small ones. that feel like a hot coffee on a cold morning, a kiss on the forehead goodnight, a warm hug under a duvet. something about those small words that give you that same sort of feeling. of peace and calm and gentleness and breath and love and warmth. that feeling of home deep within your heart?
yeah, those words.

a certain kind of magic lives within the words of those we love
the spells that brew from the mouths of the people we trust
who we are open to hearing every breath-stroke
a special kind of gentleness emanates out of us when they speak
a nurturing, attentive way of hearing what they say

this magic both beautiful and powerful
and when that power is overcome with shadows
the spells that are formed haunt us
those words that would once scratch the surface
cut deep and scar when told by the ones we love
like a sword their tongue gouches out parts of us
parts we loved and accepted
not many kinds of magic have the power to do this
but the words of the ones we love put a sort of spell over us
to many they are vulnerable to those words
their shields are dropped and their weapons holstered
so when used from a place of less than love
those words can hurt

so may i ask you
be gentle with those you love
because it is easily forgotten in the light of an angel
the light of a strong, powerful, self-assured women
that words touch differently
out of the mouths of the ones we love

honey soaked dreams
and caramel skin
soft to the touch and sweet to the lips
rosebud cheeks
and oceans in her rib cage
delicate on the out and wild within

saltwater veins
and sunkissed hair
whispers of temptation
and the seduction of a summer night nostalgia

she pulls you in
when she calls your name
like a siren of the seven seas
to her you are a game
something to conquer
to love for just one night
a concoction of heat and hunger

desire entangled within the air
and in your sheets her smell will linger
the smell of almost having her
that sense of something slipping through your fingers

and as you open your eyes
the only sign of her that will remain
is that distant scent of saltwater
that she leaves in the beds of all her pray

i regularly find myself trapped in this web of others creativity
devouring the magic they cast into this world
but neglecting my own magical expression
forgetting to pour my attention into my own creativity
i must continue to remind myself the importance
of creating more than i consume
whilst consumption of creative energy can inspire
and ignite
and bring joy
i must not allow this to overpower my creation
i have to create more than i consume or where is it all going?
all that energy being consumed?
i need my outlet
i need my release
i need my own creative flow
and i am ever so grateful
for this important lesson i have learnt
the necessity of creating more than i consume

by making changes in our external world, we expect our inner problems to be healed but how can working on the outside truly heal the inside? the only way to really mend our problems is by identifying the root of them. looking inside, delving within and giving love to the root cause. carefully molding and mending it until the deeply rooted problem has been healed. to be free from our problems, we must be free from the parts of ourselves creating these problems. too often people are trying to stop their suffering by avoiding it, ignoring it or worrying about future suffering, this in itself is causing us to suffer more. tell yourself, and truly believe, that you want your suffering to end and that decision is the crucial first step in healing our inner wounds.

I can feel it
through this huge collective shift, this change, all this craziness
I feel this transformation, undeniably
like something big is coming
like through all of this we can only emerge stronger
more grateful
that after this massive shift we are experiencing on such a large, collective scale
there's no way things will go back to the way they were
back to the perceived idea of normal
not just because there is no "normal" 
(imagine how boring that would be!)
but because through hardship and pain
no one emerges the same
we emerge stronger and more powerful then we've ever been
and this
on a collective level
will be incredible
so hold on tight
because something big is on the horizon
past all of this craziness and isolation
is a shift, a transformation
one we are all, consciously or not, absolutely ready for
so don't be scared
we're all in this together


I always talk about the importance of living your truth. But what if you don't know what that is? You may be desperately trying to be your authentic self but something just isn't sitting right. Well it's that right there. You don't have to try to be yourself, just simply and effortlessly be. This simple act of being will inevitably bring to light your truth. Let go and surrender to the hands of the universe. You are always being divinely guided whether you choose to believe it or not. The truth is often the simplest of things, it's hard to ignore really, but the layers of conditioning means that sometimes we do ignore it. We get in our own heads, we overthink. We let others get in our heads. But in all honesty, no one else knows your truth like you do, so how could they they possibly give judgement on it, or furthermore, tell you how to live it. So when you let go, when you surrender, what flows? What rings true to your core? What comes effortlessly? What just works? This. This is your truth.


sometimes i question why i create. who i create for. but when it comes down to it, i create for me. no one else. i create to crack myself open. to examine what i find. i create to release whatever shit is inside. to get it the fuck out. cause god, can it fuck me up if i let it build up. sometimes i feel like i'm opening a cage for butterflies to fly out. but other times it feels like i'm exploding, like i couldn't hold it all in anymore. but whether it's magic and beauty that flow out of me or pain and chaos, both are so, so fucking necessary. it is so necessary for me to create. just to get all this shit out. whether it's writing till my hand starts cramping and i'm sucked dry of words or painting through till the early hours of the morning and my eyes are weary and my mind sleepy. creating is a form of expression so necessary for my sanity...or insanity....depending on the day. either way, i create. and i create for me. because i really fucking need it. 

a journey beginning in the chaos of car horns and motorbikes
the only refuge from the noise, little rooms hidden up behind restaurant fronts and stores
even in these rooms, however, the noise still managing to creep it's way in
seeking refuge from the city lights, we ventured to the depths of the heart of the land
a place unbeknown to the car horns and city lights
kept hidden away from the city's poisons and the tourist touch
a place untouched and undamaged
where mountains cradle the villages tucked away in valleys
where communities live together, work together, and spend their days under the sun, in gaias arms
the people with hearts soft and kind, humble and pure
unconditioned by the externalities of social influence and expectation
living their lives with love and compassion
in a place where green is the colour of the land, of the trees, of the rice field and of the jungle
in this place magic seems to be in the air
in the leaves
in the mountains
in the rivers
in the land

i have this insane flow of creative energy flowing through memaybe it's the full moonmaybe it's the summer heatmaybe it's the festive spirit
but whatever it is
that is drifting through the airand attaching itself to my soulit's fucking intensebecause as fast as i type my fingers can not keep upas fast as i think my mind lags behindenergy racing through my veinsthe kind of high worth getting addicted tothis surge of energybegging melike a lover on their kneesfor morecreate morewrite morepaint moremore more moredesperation leaks through my fingertipslike months worth of creativity has boiled up inside meand finallyunder the gentle nurture of the full moonit must be releasedlike it's been waiting
in hibernation
for the right timethe right time to releaseto bubble overto escapeescape the confines of my vessel
and materialise into something beautifulsomething so unbelievable
so spectacularone could only describe it as magicand afterall, isn't that the creative flow?isn't that exactly what that fierce, fiery energy is?magic

a quiet morning.
the sun still safely tucked away.
nestled gently in their arms.
soft duvets and light sheets wrap themselves around my tired body.
the heat of the early morning sun seeps through the closed blinds.
the smell of coffee wafts down the hallway and under the door.
slow moving.
whispered conversations.
and morning kisses.
a sunday morning kind of lovin'.

I can feel myself slowly falling back into alignment. After months of floating around this earth, drifting through my life, feeling lost. I feel I have finally found a tether to pull me back to myself. It was one of the first sun filled days after winter, and on this day I remembered what it felt like to align. To align with the people I surround myself with and the environment I inhabit. I felt a wave of motivation and inspiration smothered in peace and love. This feeling I had lost for a second there. Sort of unknowingly. It goes like that, you don't fully realise something is gone until you feel it again. It may just come in a flicker, or a tsunami. Either way, when I felt this re emergent, I knew it was my wave to ride.
I felt this feeling of coming home. Back to myself.
I wrote to-do lists to free my mind of the weight of remembering all the things I wanted to do. I wrote goals, to see where I was heading, have a plan, an aim for this rollercoaster of a time. I picked up my paintbrush and remembered the magic it's britles embodied. And here we are. Writing. After what felt like a drought, the flow I so desperately crave is creeping back. My writing flow, my life flow. The thing that inspires, that motivated, that creates. That energy in my heart, that feeling of overflowing, but in the best possible way, I can feel it returning.
I cannot ignore, however, the gift I had been given. The gift of unalignment. This gift that showed me what it felt to be in alignment. I have the opportunity to see what I do not align with, to see what I need to release. People, habits, places, feelings. I reflect into the time I was floating, the time I was feeling lost. I delve into its depths and explore the intricacies of why I felt this way. In this space, these dark depths of unalignment, this is where I grow. This is where I learn. Through this learning I will grow further and further into my alignment and have the power to recognise what is not mine to embody. What is not meant for me in this life. And for this sacred gift, god am I grateful.

Anyway I am back. I feel I am never truly all I wanna be, cause if that were the case where would i have left to go? But I feel it. I feel that flow again. That aching to share, to create, to love. And fuck does it feel amazing!! I couldn't wait to share this with you. Whether you have read this or not, I share for me! That feeling of putting into the world these vulnerable and beautiful parts of myself. Because I KNOW that when I do, beautiful things will come back my way. So with this pouring of words, this avalanche of love and, almost in a a way, relief, I feel myself step back into my power, back into my alignment, back into myself. 

Close your eyes.
what can you hear?
The sound of waves hugging the shore,
or the sound of seagulls chirping and singing their all too familiar song
what can you feel?
The hot sun beating down and kissing your caramel skin,
or the feeling of sand pressed up against your body
what can you taste?
The sweetness that lingers on your tongue from your afternoon cocktail,
or the salt encrusted upon your slightly cracked lips
what can you smell?
The salty ocean breeze carrying with it the scent of seaweed,
or the smell of hot chips wafting through from nearby cafes
now, keep your eyes closed 
what do you feel? like I mean really feel, deeper then the touch on your skin

what do you feel in your heart?

My healing may scare you 
Seeing someone break so many times yet put themselves back together 
Each time stronger than the last
Conjuring up a power within myself
A power that may be too much for some
But my healing is nothing to apologize for
My rollercoaster of emotions
My breakdowns and my breakthroughs
All an essential part of my healing

And something I will never apologize for

I cherish those whispered moments between sleep and awake, between dream worlds and reality, when the world is quiet.
Those moments when your heartbeats are in sink and words are no longer necessary.
When the familiarity of their breath plays on repeat in your mind like a catchy song. 
When simply the simplicity of each others presence is all that is needed to move mountains. 
And the world around you seems to fade away into the darkness that floods the surrounding air.
Those whispered moments when that familiar feeling lingers above you and sinks into your bloodstream.
When butterflies nestle into your stomach and liquid sunlight pumps through your veins.
Those moments that give you shivers down your spine.

I cherish those whispered moments.

the magic of witnessing dreams become reality
ever so delicately
the process unfolds
the natural unfolding of life
it begins a dream
set loose in your mind
moon dust caught between your eyelashes
the secret ingredient
and as you sleep in the darkness
or as your mind wanders in the light
they grow stronger in your mind
soon they are too much
too much to confine within your mind
this is when they begin to spill
spill into reality
at first its slow and subtle
you may not even notice it at first
but over time
as you continue to nurture the dream in your mind
it will not be so controlled
it will come bursting out
before you know it
you are living in a dream

freely, openly, lovingly,
I dance,
I play,
I sing,
I laugh.
in nature
where I feel most at home,
most alive,
most myself.
a fairy in magic lands,
hand crafted and nurtured by gaia.
free to express and have fun.
finally ready to spread my wings,
and learn to fly.

oddly, in a way, I was ever so slightly disappointed they were fading. in some cruel turn of fate I had grown to love them. they were a constant reminder, carried with me always, of how far I've come. the truly extraordinary amount I've grown. also, somewhere in the back of my mind they were also the last piece I had of the time you and I were together. because as painful as that time was, it was also such a huge part of who I am today and the love I have for myself.
however, on the other hand, the yin to the yang, it's a sign I'm moving on. as they fade, so does that time in my life. of course the lessons shall forever stay with me, but the pain, the fear, the hatred, they begin to dissolve into love, gratitude. 
I am no longer tied to my past, a victim to that pain. instead I am an emergent. I've been through my own personal hell and have risen. 
these scars are a reminder of this and although they may be fading, they will forever stay with me as a symbol of my growth.

footsteps soft against the untouched grass. discovering hidden wonderlands. gems in my own backyard, long forgotten. I sat at the waters edge. the sound of crystal liquid rushing over the rocks, cascading down stream. slowly I dip my toes in, goosebumps run up my spine. winter sunshine kissing every inch of my skin. wildflowers blooming around me, an extension of my soul. gently I lay my body down, my bare back pressing against the cool ground. I breath in the earth beneath me and exhale up into the clouds. birds whistling overhead, grass rustling around me. ever so delicately, rays of light hit a spiders web, glistening between two trees. with a flower safely placed behind my ear, I close my eyes. with each breath the sounds of the waterfall begins to fade and I can feel myself drifting away. with each breath I recharge. as I lay tightly tucked away in natures arms, nurtured by mother earth, I feel waves of emotions flowing through my body. joy, sadness, relief, gratitude, fear, excitement. I watch as the waves pass through me freely and with no attachment. as I open my eyes an overwhelming feeling of gratitude sweeps over me, filling my entire body. and in this moment I feel so connected. connected to myself, to nature, and to Source. all of which reside within me, as one.

tell them if you like them
tell them if you think they have a pretty smile
tell them if you could spend hours getting lost in the crevasses of their mind
tell them if they give the best hugs
tell them if you think the stories they tell could mesmerise the largest of crowds
if you have something nice to say
say it
it's not hard, and I promise you it will make someone feel amazing
and who knows, it could be exactly what someone needs to hear
you never know what's going on in someone's life, so always be nice
and spread the love

learn to enjoy your own company.fill your thoughts with the gentleness of the moonlight.don't allow the darkness to feed in the stillness of your mind.don't let it make home in the emptiness of your ribcage.I know that nighttime can be scary and hard.when the life line of others company is gone and you are left alone.the thoughts become too much, spiralling into a pit of what if's and if only's. but, my darling, you must learn to kiss these wounds, the creators of these dangerous thoughts. just as if a loved one were hurting, kiss them better and nurture their process of healing. learn to forget the misguided belief that your own company is are incredible and you deserve to spend time with yourself without fear. your mind is your sanctuary, not your prison. 

I hear so often people worrying about what other will think. Or see them changing themselves to fit in, denying their true selves out of fear of judgement or rejection. But in fact, people are always going to make a judgement about you, good or bad, conscious or not. You can't change this, the one thing you can change is how you let this effect you. The more you try to 'fit in', the further you drift from your true self. No one is the same, so trying to make it so is simply a false reality, an unauthentic illusion. 

So dance through the aisle of the grocery store when your favourite song comes on. Wear that crazy christmas jumper your nan got you that you secretly love. Sit home alone reading whilst everyone else parties. Do what makes you happy and what you need. And maybe you'll even inspire others to step out of fears shadow and do the same. 

Make a home among the trees with me.
A sacred place where magic blooms and flowers blossom.
Where we can run barefoot through the forest, playing hide and seek all day
Make friends with every stranger we meet, invite them in for a cup of tea
Dance around the kitchen whilst preparing every meal with love
Read books aloud in blanket forts of our own making
Learn the names of every bird that lives outside our window
Run and play until the sun sinks away
And then lay under the moon and tell stories under a blanket of stars
No need to make a wish on the shooting stars
Because right here, right now, all my wishes have come true.

taking risks because I think secretly, deep down I want the pain for the inspiration
maybe I think that there's a certain amount of pain I have to endure and then there will be no more, so I rush to feel it all on my own terms
or perhaps it's because from pain the seeds of inspiration are planted
using pain as the ink of my words, intertwining itself within my stories
I hide behind my flowery words, but behind the veil I question,
am I willing to let myself heal?
am I willing to heal the root of the pain?
even if that means not knowing if those flowery words I've found myself seeking protection behind will remain the same
once the roots have been healed and the weeds have been plucked,
will inspiration still bloom?
will words still flow through my veins and entangle themselves in my messy mind?
am I brave enough to see the flowers that may possibly bloom beyond my pain?

this morning I breathe in the golden light of a new day
and I breathe out attachment
attachment to others
attachment to material things
attachment to familiarity
attachment to comfort
I detach whilst staying grounded
my roots are deep in myself
and firmly in this earth
I am connected yet detached

i spent every night needle and thread
stitching up my scars
but the dark made this difficult
some nights i would even make things worse
but even so, the next night i would try again
so that when the morning came around
i was ready
stronger than ever before

Inspiration leaks out from the pages of my journal
It's spine carries stories unknown to the world
Like a photograph of my inner world it captures thoughts, ideas and dreams
Daydreams and wishes brought to life on it's blank pages
Spells cast into the universe using my pen as a wand
This one small book holding space for my mind
And all the complexities and simplicities that linger within it
All the pain that was once stored up, emptied out into it's pages
Capturing emotions in their rawest form
Wisdom and truth bounce from word to word
An entire world of magic just waiting to be brought to life
Some stories desperately aching to be shared with the world
Whilst others nestle comfortably into the safety of these pages
Every letter that is written into this book serves a purpose
To release, inspire, share, teach, learn
Words carry with them an infinite power
A real life magic

what lies within us far out exceeds what lay in our past,
and even what may lie in the future.
those scars you've accumulated over the years,
they are there to remind us where we've been, how far we've come
not to dictate where we're going,
they are not in control of us.

I like to think I write about life.
The beautiful, the broken and the ugly.
From the divinities of this existence to the heartbreaks of being human.
Remembering pain is subjective and beauty is in perspective.
I find the beauty in pain and drain the sorrows of its stories.
I write stories of the witches long forgotten and respark flames of ansestory. 
Using suffering as a source of creativity and using creativity to heal.
Stitching my wounds word by word, planting seeds of life.
Kissing the scars and watering the seeds until forests of pain and love, of suffering and healing being to bloom from the once empty parts of my soul.

i am flawed but i am sacred.
i am free but i am grounded.
i am individual but i am connected.
i am fierce but i am soft.
i am gentle but i am strong.
i am young but i am ancient.
i am one but i am infinite. 

How long can one go with a broken heart?
Minutes, days, years?
She was determined to find out. 
During the day she managed to hold her chest tight enough as to keep it together. But everytime the sun dropped below the horizon and the stars sprinkled across the sky, she had to let go.
Her heart would crumble into a million pieces. Pieces shattered onto her screen as texts were left on read and any sign of hope was blocked. 
Hazy daydreams became reality and falsities became fact. Her brain no longer differentiating between what was real and what was not.
Tears coated her pillow and her fragile spine nestled into the cold wall. She made herself sink into the corner of her bed, just as she felt herself sinking into the corners of a cruel world. 
Hour long phone calls passed the nights, the days just filling in time. Time before the next attack on her heart. An assault with a hammer, shattering it into dust of her past. 
For she was the girl with the broken heart.

all of the tears you have shed,
and the pain you have felt.
every time your heart has broken in half
and shattered to pieces.
be grateful you can feel so much
appreciate the gift of sensitivity.
a spell cast upon you before you were born
that not only allows you to feel that much pain
but also to see that much beauty.
you will see the stars a bit brighter,
taste peaches a bit sweeter,
hear the birds sing a little more in tune,
and smell the roses even more aromatic.
your sensitivity is your superpower
and your emotions your magic.
allow rivers to flow from your eyes freely
and to show gratitude for the magic you hold within.

Her soul can be hurt
It can be broken
And scarred
It can be scorched with fear
But her soul will never die
For it is stronger than all
Like bones it will remain
Forever protected by La Loba
The collector of the bones
The connection between life and death
Her soul cannot be killed

I sought to find the comfort of your familiar words, the safety of such familiar feelings. Mistaking comfort for happiness, familiarity for love. But love, that deep true kind. The kind that makes your heart feel like it's bursting, like a fierce forest fire is ripping through every part of you. The kind of love that turns your blood to honey and your legs to jelly. That love isn't comfortable. It's dangerous, exciting and makes your heart beat at a thousand miles a minute. A love that feels like a million sunsets all at once. Like fireworks for your soul. That's the kind of love I seek.

It started off with a trickle, a drizzle. Then drop by drop it began to grow. The trees blew and danced in the wind like no one was watching them. The rain began to pour until the sky opened up and out bucketed enough water to fill an ocean. The clouds creeped across the blanket of blue determined to block the rays of sun from hitting the earth. The closer they got the darker it grew. The clouds devoured the light until nothing was left but darkness. 
From this darkness, serenity blossomed. Basking in the beauty of it and appreciating the sheer power of mother earth. I lay awake listening to the oceans fall on my roof and the gurgling of the sky. Lights shot from above and I sat in awe of the lightshow Gaia was allowing me to witness.
Cold air rushed through my room and chills took over my body. Inside was peaceful compared to the storm that was whirling outside my window. I wrapped myself in my duvet as to feel protected from the violent roars of mother earth. Yet somehow these loud growls did not threaten me. They were not intended to strike fear, but to remind us that we were once again at her clemency. I felt her gentle rumbles hit me in the heart. Peace and a sense of calm consumed my soul and amidst the storm howling outside, I felt such love. 
The storm began to settle and I heard the gentle whispers of mother earth, caring and loving. Not saying words but talking to me. I know what she said, and she knows I understood her. Because after the storm a rainbow forms and I am again reminded of the beauty such a powerful energy like mother earth holds. We are her children and she will always love us.  

how to take yourself on a date:
the relationship you have with yourself should always be prioritized. Yes, I understand sometimes it feels like life is"getting in the way" or you've lost touch with this sacred relationship, but the truth is, to reconnect, all you've got to do is make some time for yourself. Show yourself how much you love you by taking yourself on a date. 
Pack a basket with your favourite snacks, a blanket, a book and your journal and head out into nature, the park, the beach, wherever makes you happy. Run yourself a bath, fill it with rose petals and pour a glass of rosè. Go to your favorite op shop and browse until your legs get tired. Make a reservation at that fancy restaurant you've been wanting to go to. Do whatever makes your heart sing and your soul happy. Just do it for yourself, with yourself. Show yourself the love you deserve. 

Not everyone you meet is meant to be in your life forever. Forever being the key word. Because everyone you meet is meant to be in your life, it's just a matter of if they're there as a blessing or a lesson. Some people come and go to teach us detachment, or heartbreak. Some stay for too long to teach us to let go. And some leave unexpectedly to teach us to move on. Whilst there are other people who, no matter how often they come and go, you know are meant to be in your life for a long, long time. Those occasional blessings. The angels who have blessed your life as they walk along beside you, hand in hand. Those people are the ones who you feel a connection with. Whether mother, friend or lover. Some people are in your life for the long run. And those people, those light beings, sunflowers embodied, they are who you must keep close. Because when you find your tribe, your angels, life quickly becomes a whole lot more magical. 

people are most beautiful when they're not trying to be.
when they're lost in the tangled mess of their thoughts.
when they're drifting into the realm of an innocent daydream.
when their minds are carefree and their hearts are open.
when the morning light hits their face as they sip on coffee and the reminisce of dreams.
when their eyes get too heavy after hours spent talking, bathed in the moonlight.
they're at their most beautiful when pure, belly-aching laughter pours from their lips and joy illuminates their face.
when they are tangled in bedsheets and only half awake.
when they dance around the kitchen, blissfully unaware of the world outside.
and when they bite their lip with concentration, fully immersed in a fictional world.
people are most beautiful when they're not even trying to be.

Tips to finding the love you deserve:
•give yourself compliments
•accept compliments from others
•take yourself on dates
•write out what your grateful for everyday
•kiss all of the parts of yourself you've ever hated
•pour love and attention into your wounds until they sprout wildflowers
There you have it. Soon enough you will begin to receive the love you deserve. And from who? you ask... yourself.

fresh air tainted by the lingering smell of smoke
tall trees stretching as far as the eye can see, lining the gravel roads
dried up leaves and rocks coating the dirt floor
a blanket of stars blindingly bright in the night sky
the milky way reaching across the universe
melodies and strumming float in the air
echoing in the trees and throughout the streets
at each street corner a freely placed busker plays for loose change
dreadlocks and bare feet, dust and tanned skin, silver jewellery and cotton all around
artists from far and wide
playing folk to rock n roll
lyrics about love, pain, housemates, food and everything in between
head banging in the mosh, dancing to harmonica in the town hall and swaying to early morning melodies
each of which the making of a perfect weekend
at nannup music festival

Wrapped softly in cotton candy coloured silk
Golden light pouring through my window
Smothering me in it's delicate glow
Smoke wafts slowly around my room
Candles dance in the soft breeze
The gentle beating of my heart in time with the lullabye 
The music brings tingles upon my skin
And in that moment, you and I exist in the same song

The smell of wet pavement
Water dripping down glistening leaves
Flower petals shimmer with water droplets
And the snails come out to play
A layer of grey rain clouds
Engulfing the blue skies
Rain drizzling from the dark blankets
And sliding down rooftops
Gloomy but beautiful
As winter rolls around
So does the cold and that cosy feeling
Of cuddles, thunder and the comforting sound of rain

- PILL -
Like a pill, many won't be able to swallow you.
Your truth will be too much for them.
So instead they will stay in the dark.
Unaware of the power your truth possesses.
So don't for one minute think you're wrong,
You're not, they just can't swallow you.

Sometimes I get this restless feeling deep within my soul.
Relentlessly trying to be expressed but words cannot define this feeling.
It's strong, powerful and overwhelming.
Like an unspoken longing to say everything and nothing all at once.

The power of women supporting women is so strong
Especially here on this platform
I know very often it gets a bad rep as a place of negativity and unrealistic standards
But really it's whatever you make it
You decide who you follow
You decide how often you check it
So really this platform is in your control
When I decided to unfollow all accounts that no longer served me I decided to focus on following people. Real, raw and authentic. People not just accounts. People who inspire me, make me happy, empower me and bring positivity into my life.
I have built a community. A community of friends who, although I may never have met in person, I have met on a soul level. A community of friends I feel comfortable opening up to, who I feel safe and loved by.
It's so so incredibly powerful to know that all around this home we call planet earth I have friends who love me and I love them. Who, in some life time, our souls were connected, because in this one we never needed a formal introduction or a face to face interaction. Simply seeing each other through this platform, we connected.
It's so heartwarming to know that at any given time, night or day, there is someone, maybe on the other side of the world, who is there to talk to. This, this is what true, whole hearted magic is.
And this my friend, is the true power this platform holds.
So create connections not followers.
Spread positivity and light.
Be raw, authentic. Show it's not always sunshine and rainbows.
But most importantly, love one another and be kind.

the full moon
conjuring up inspiration and concoctions of dreams and reality
sparking a wildfire deep within my soul
a fire so strong it sets my thoughts ablaze
stirring my imagination from its slumber
casting spells of creativity
and pouring through me true self expression with art, words and dance

I told the moon about you
In one of our regular late night chats
I told her how your hair falls over your cheekbones
And how your eyes glimmer when you laugh
How you make fun of me in the best way
I also told the moon about your pain
And how I can't help but let it affect me
How I feel everything you feel, but wouldn't want it any other way
I told her all about how strong you are ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But now when I talk to her it's a different story
I tell the moon memories about you
I tell her how I miss your smile and your teasing
I tell her I miss you
And she looks down at me
With love in her eyes
And smiles

the sunday morning markets are one of my favourite places in the world
everyone so cheerful even on the dreariest of days
the farmers proudly arrange their produce 
strangers smile at each other and even have a chat
fur babies scoot around your feet every which way
an endless supply of puppy pets and kisses
i have a chat with the watermelon man as he carefully picks out who of his best just for me
i greet the apple man and he tells me, with such pride, all about this week's pickings
the little boy running the strawberry stall counts my change ever so carefully before handing me a punnet
the beautiful sounds of buskers on every corner
the usually quiet town centre bustling with locals and people from far and wide
before i leave i make a cheeky trip to the macaroon stall for my weekly french treat
cotton bag full of my goodies on one arm, handbag on the other
i head off back down the dirt track
breathing in the fresh morning air and admiring the beautiful bush i call home

give me a love like silk and sunflowers
the kind of love that gives you shivers down your spine
full of adventures yet always feeling at home
as home becomes the space between your arms
lying in bed at midday or running naked on secret beaches
wherever we are let it be home
give me a love like silk and sunflowers
the kind of love that warms your heart
picking veges from community gardens and cooking meals immersed with love
midnight drives to nowhere with the music loud and the windows down
the kind of love that makes others wonder how you do it
how you manage to be both
a love of silk and sunflowers

Labels stitched across our backs to make sense of us, try to control the uncontrollable. But our fires will not be diminished and our wildness cannot be reigned in. Slut, whore, prude. These are just words, used by people who, themselves, are lacking self love and too scared to face their own fears. Don't shame a woman for what she is comfortable expressing, or what she feels confident wearing. Women's bodies are beautiful and magical, with hips that move like the tides and scars reminding us we survived. Woman literally create creation itself. Yet we are taught that our skin, the vessels our souls reside in, is inappropriate. That our bodies are distracting. This over sexualization of the divine feminine has held us back for too long. Prevented us, out of fear, feeling confident in our own bodies. Well no more. You deserve to love yourself. No matter how much skin you decide to show, let that decision stem from self love, not from fear. Don't let other dictate how you should live your life. Don't let fear control you.

She's too fat, she's too skinny
Is it concern or judgement?
People throwing their opinions around
Like they need to be heard
Disguising body policing as kindness
Making shaming appear as compassion
Hiding behind their masks
Hoping no one will see them
See them for who they really are
For all their flaws and imperfections
Because in their distorted reality
These are something to hide
Cover up and keep to themselves
Fearful people will do to them what they do to others
Pretend to care when in fact it's just hate
Belittling others to mask their own lack of self love
But what they don't yet see
Is that the things they hate most about themselves
And the things they tear others down for
Are nothing less than perfection
Every scar and stretch mark
Every rib and bone
Every pimple and every birthmark
All of these make you the beautiful human being you are
Right here
Right now
Every flaw you possess
You are perfect

You and I were a wildfire
Out of control
We only grew bigger
Until finally, we both got burned

You told me I could change this world.
You told me I would make a difference.
When I felt like I was worthless,
When I felt like I was powerless,
You believed in me.
When it felt like the world was caving in on me,
And I couldn't even help myself,
You reminded me I was strong enough.
You listened to me rant about things I believed in,
And I was lucky enough to hear you talk about your passions.
I told you things I had never told anyone before,
My wild dreams,
And my crazy plans.
You listened and you believed in me.
When I hated myself, you told me I was beautiful.
When I didn't want to eat, you made sure I did.
You may not have known it,
And I may not have told you at the time,
But thank you.
I appreciate you so freakin much.
Yes, it's important to heal yourself but sometimes that extra bit of encouragement,
Or that much needed reminder,
Or even just knowing someone actually cares,
That can be the little extra push you need to help you lift the weight.
To help you rip off the bandaid.
So that you can remember how fucking strong you are already.
And use that strength to heal yourself,
And heal the world.

People are always telling you to do.
Don't wait because there is absolutely no certainty in the future. And on some level I agree with this. In fact I often preach this. As the cliche goes, there is no time like the present. But now I want to question that.
As with everything in life you need to question everything. Everything.
So let's talk about patience.
In my life I'm always talking about the future. Even thinking about it lights a spark in me. Travelling the earth and seeing all the beauty mamma gaia has created and helping people remember. Spreading love and light. All of this honestly excites me so much. But as I said, that is for the future. There is no certainty of that happening and simply remembering that means I am not attached to it. I'm not attached to uncertainty.
But all this adventure will have to wait. I have school, a lack of money to do this and frankly aren't able to at the moment. But this doesn't mean I am any less excited. I just have to be patient.
Patience doesn't have to just be an unfortunate symptom, it can actually be a gift.
For having to wait means the end result will be that much more incredible!

I see you, my darling earth
From way up high
I see you in all your glory and suffering
Every vein that runs throughout the land
Liquid gold that fills your crevices
Blue crystals running along your surface
Each mountain so very carefully moulded
To stand higher than the seas
Yet standing in unity, as equals
Each wave you breathe life into
In preparation for it's inevitable crash
The trees you've placed together
To form armies
Fighting together to bring life and peace
Love emanates from each beautiful gift you've placed on this planet
Darling earth, I see you

Yesterday I went for a walk for the first time in a while. I wasn't feeling well so I thought some quality time with mamma nature (and my puppy) may have helped me reconnect and feel better. I decided to just walk down to the local park, knowing that my puppy can run around there. First we met a few other doggos (best part of walks?) then we played and ran barefoot through the overgrown grass together. Bees and butterflies fluttered among the vast expanses of wildflowers whilst frogs and crickets sang down by the creek. Then we decided to get our feet (and paws) wet while exploring the creek (and picking up rubbish- please don't litter on mother earth).
While walking home a beam of light stretched across the road ahead off us, disappearing down a small path. I have lived in this same place my whole life yet had never been down this path, until now. I felt an urge to explore this new, unfamiliar path. The light called me in like a sign "this way, this way!". 
What we found next was nothing less then magical. A hidden treasure nestled away between houses and roads. A creek ran alongside the path and flowers and trees grew all around me. Skipping along the rocks we explored the very heart of this magical place. With the sun beginning to set everything was coated in a layer of gold. The moon loomed peacefully over head awaiting her time to shine. Butterflies skipped along the water's edge and birds led the way down the path with their songs. I sat down in the long grass for what felt like forever and I felt the soft ground beneath my body and the warm spring air all around me, protecting me where I sat. 
This magical place would have remained unknown to me for who knows how long if it weren't for that stretch of light reaching out and pulling me in. So, angels, remember to always follow your intuition and go on adventures, get lost, explore new places. Your always guided and you will always be exactly where you need to be. 
Have a beautiful day, and why not go find yourself some fairy gardens today?

I promise that one day soon all of this will make sense. It may be difficult to see why everything is happening now, while it is still happening. But I promise, if you really think about it, in time it will come to you. Like a weight that rises from your soul and leaves you feeling free and more awake than ever. Everything you've been through, all the pain, the heartache, the suffering, it has all taught you something, made you stronger or given you some gift. So take a moment to step back and look at everything with a veil of love and I promise you it'll all make sense (or as much sense as anything can, I mean we are on an energetic rock floating through space and that's pretty crazy). 
Don't worry the universe has your back!

At night, before I drift off to sleep I make a wish.
I wish for you to be happy and for you to be smiling.
I wish that you could see that you hold magic right there in your palms.
That you are capable of enchanting with a single look.
I wish you would see that you are made up of stardust, composed of the cosmos.
I wish you could see everything I see in you

As I drift off to sleep
My dreams feel so real
There I meet you
I can feel my heart heal
But this world I imagine
Is just that, a dream
Back in reality
Our loves ripped at the seam
But what if that's just it
In some mean, cruel twist
This delusional world
Is the only place we exist
And back in real life
We don't stand a chance
So just for tonight
Will you have this dance?
The moon glistens down
You and I just a musing
Of the world that exists
Upon my choosing
For the short time this lasts
I'll bask in the allure
With my eyes gently shut
Our love feels so pure
But eventually the time comes
I must open my eyes
Then into thin air
Our love meets its demise

I found serenity in the darkest depths of my broken heart
And happiness within the crevices of my aching soul.
For so long I drowned in your eyes forgetting what air felt like
Your were suffocating me whilst I tried to grasp the very air you were taking
I wished you could see everything I saw in you
Instead you drained my energy and used it to keep yourself moving
You didn't mean to, the last thing you wanted was to hurt me
But through allowing myself to forget who I was,
And allowing my energy to be toxic around you
I hurt myself.
I should have been the love I was seeking in you.
It is my choice to feel good, but I didn't know this.
I thought my emotional state was determined by you.
But through the darkness I carved out space for my light.
I allowed myself to surrender to the possibility that I am everything I've ever been missing.
All the happiness I once so desperately yearned for was within me.
I awakened to the fact that love is mine, and everyone's, natural state
And I began to live my truth and embody love fully
Through reconnecting with the love and divinity within me
I got through my darkest times and grew stronger and more awake then I have ever been
Everything you could possibly imagine is within you,
You just have to surrender to your truth

You are no mistake
There are no mistakes in you that need fixing
Some parts may need healing
And you may need loving
But none of you needs fixing
For you are everything.
Open your eyes to this
Awaken to the collective unconsciousness of society
That tells you that loving yourself is shameful
And loving your body is narcissistic
Embrace every part of yourself
Welcome your 'flaws' with open arms
And welcome all with an open heart
Love the parts of yourself you once exiled
Apologise to the parts of yourself that you've hurt
Remind your body of everything you love about it
Thank it for taking care of you
Thank yourself for everyday waking up in the morning
For pumping blood through your veins and breathing air to your lungs
Kiss the scars you've carved into your temple
Rest in the tangled mess of your mind
Drench your soul in love from the world
And feel every inch of yourself, mind, body and soul.
Because you, you gorgeous human, you are no mistake

We are all living in our very own worlds
A world shaped through our perceptions of reality and our imagination
To truly reflect our inner earth we need to express ourselves
Through art, dance, music, words, speech
Any way you choose, creativity is a tool that embodies emotion
It spreads meaning and our inner most selves
Show the world your inner earth

I watch as the light fairies dance on the water
Glimmering and shimmering in their natural beauty
A chorus of dancers light up the surface of the crystal blue ocean
Each wave carrying with it a party of fairies
Sent by the sun to seek refuge upon the waves
I dive into the water to join them
Among the fairies I swim and dance until last light
As the sun sinks away the fairies follow closely
Until it's just me, left alone to frolic in the open ocean
Soon enough I am joined by my friend, the moon
I lay on the calm waters, confiding in the moon, telling her my secrets
Giving space to my emotions,
Allowing them to flow through me and dissolve into the bed of water I lay upon
She tells me of my divinity and infinite power
Revealing to me the secrets of the sea
Saltwater rivers begin to run down my cheeks as she tells me of all she's seen
Softly, I close my eyes
And she sings me a gentle song
That carries me off to sleep

Dear ocean,
Carry me home
Nurture me in your arms
Let your waters caress my skin
Purify my body
Cleanse my soul
Kiss every inch of me
And hold me close
Sprinkle me in your golden cosmic dust
Until my soul flies high with the birds
Run your waters over my scars
Allow the waves to turn them to wildflowers
Dear ocean,
Heal me
For you are home

a tiny book store
tucked away in the back streets
away from noisey cars
and bustling sidewalks
books with cracked spines
and yellow stained pages
crumbled paper
and faded ink
yet each book holds in it
a story as precious
as the day it was written
with spines that carry memories
lives tangled into the pages
and adventures captured in syllables
a whole universe thriving
in the tiny book store
tucked away in the back streets

In nature everything is pure
It's not trying to be anything it's not or live up to some crazy expectations.
In nature everything is simply being.
However, when I go to the city, it's different.
People are fueled by greed and fear
Always wanting what they don't have
And scared they won't get it.
Overwhelmed by society's expectations
Trying to conform to the social norms and fit their round edges into square spaces
I feel as if I absorb all the energy around me.
When I come into contact with the suffering deeply ingrained into our society it hurts me.
Everyone feeling the need to not be happy,
Setting ourselves up to suffer,
And if we are not suffering, become bored.
Now imagine if we all went back to our roots,
Took off our masks,
Undid the fabric of societal norms,
And lived as our true, pure, universal energies.
Realised the term 'self' is an illusion
We are all one.
If we all lived like the trees do
Or like the ocean, or the soil
Simply 'being'.
Could you imagine how extraordinary this world could be?

Tell them it's okay to not be okay, and it's okay to cry.
Tell them to talk to you about everything that's hurting them before they go to sleep at night.
Tell them that you will be there, right by their side, whenever they need you.
Tell them that the next time you see them you will hold them so tightly and not let go till they feel better.
Tell them you love them.
Tell them this wholeheartedly and tell them this often.

Falling in love with smile lines over cheekbones
A full tummy over a flat one
Crazy curls over burnt hair
And being myself, over everything else

Finally, I had broken the fierce shackles you had placed on me, I had placed on me.
An energy boiled inside of me until I could no longer control it. Like a wildfire, the happiness I had repressed for so long broke all my walls down until it was free to run wild. An energy of love and happiness poured out of me like a waterfall after a storm. I was finally in control of the water, my energy, my emotions. I rejected negativity and only allowed positivity to enter my stream. A constant flow of golden magic ran through my veins, lighting up every inch of my body. Electricity ran through me like it was trying to find a resting place, a place where I would no longer have to consciously reject negativity, instead it would simply pass through my body and not disrupt the calm waters of my mind.
The electricity within me has not fully rested yet. Still I take, droplet by droplet, the negativity that is woven into our society and decide to not ignore, but come to peace with it. Not let it affect me in a way that would not serve me or my wellbeing. I allow it to leave its mark in such a way that I grow and my stream strengthens, but not as to crumble my banks or wither my roots.

Do you feel her, she whispered
The all powerful divine feminine
Cut ties with your past, she whispers
Let go of what no longer serves you
Thank them for what they taught you, she says
Appreciate the strength they gave you
She shines her light
Into my open wounds
Reminding me they are a source for creativity
A portal to the infinite depths of my mind
The paints that cover the canvas that is my life
Using my words as a brush
Do you feel her, she whispered
Her energy surging within you
Can you feel what she does to you
Within you what she does to the tides
For you are the ocean, she whispers
And the ocean is you
Both at the sweet mercy of her power

I won't bandage your wounds, I will make you experience them fully.
I will make you feel them, but I will be there to feel them with you.
We will open your wounds together and I will watch as wildflowers bloom from the deepest parts of your pain.
The way I make you crazy and the way I dig my claws deep into you,
This will only make you stronger.
It will show you the parts of yourself which are hurting.
All on your own you will bandage them up.
I will just be there as a shoulder to cry on and to catch your tears as they fall.
Bottle them up and pour them on your wounds.
Watch as you grow stronger and softer with each day.
I will kiss your wounds and bring your attention to their pain.
Allow you to heal.
I wish I could show you what healing feels like.
How it feels like suffering caving in on itself and your light shining into those darkest chasms.
Like finding a home among the thorns.
Like a universe of exploding stars, powerful and beautiful all at once.
Realise you are important because you know how it feels to be hurting.
That feeling holds immeasurable power, strength and importance.
Your ability to hurt so deeply means you also have the ability to love deeply.
So take that knowledge, embody your truth, embody love and dive in.
Begin to untangle the vines that stitch up your wounds,
Carve out the suffering and hurt you've buried deep within yourself.
I will be here with you along the way.
So take my hand and begin to heal.

I am living.
I feel like for the first time I am really alive.
Saltwater in my hair, sand covering my body, salt beginning to flake on my dry lips.
Quickly the sun melted away into the horizon and the moon, the beautiful, bright, magical moon, rose above my head.
Stars lit up the blanket of darkness that once was, not so long ago, a sea of blue beauty.
Infinite lights flood the darkness above, yet somehow it is still so dark.
However, I am no longer scared of the darkness, because this time I am not alone.
This time mother earth holds me in her gentle embrace and reassures me I am safe.
She calls out to me through the waves and I find peace in the darkness.
As I sit alone in the sand, I have never felt so alive.
It's as if mother earth is there right next to me whispering stories of the calm water in front of me.
I am free.
I am alive.
Unapologetically alive.

Your skin soft like sunlight
Your voice gentle as the breeze
Your hair as silky as oceans
You make my knees weak with unease
For I know that I want you
Even though I shouldn't
I let my guard down
But you, you just couldn't
Your soul haunts my daydreams
Earth's most lovely creation
Your untouchable beauty
My overwhelming temptation 

I have learned through hours upon hours,
days upon days,
months upon months of trying
That I cannot fix, save or heal you.
But darling, trust me, if I could I would.
I would swallow the stars and kiss them into your mouth,
If it would light up your soul.
I would wrap myself in fire,
If I could keep you warm.
I would tear myself to pieces,
If I could find parts to replace your broken ones.
But I can't.
All I can do is love you.
And that my darling, I will.
Oh how I wish I could make it better for you
Take away your pain
Show you everything I see in you
Oh how I wish you could see everything I see in you
I will love you when you learn to love yourself
And I will love you when you do not.
I will love you when your radiating happiness
And I will love you when your sad
I will love each imperfection
And I will love each bad habit
I will love you wholly
And immensely
But I cannot save you.

Recently I have been bursting with love.
Ripped at the seams and overflowing.
The love and support you've all shown me in the last month has changed my life
From the darkness I found my light
I found my truth
Reunited with the essence of what it means to be human
To be this energy finding refuge in this human form
To be love
A reflection of everything
Embracing my duality, my light and my dark
Allowing them both to align and flow through me with acceptance
I feel like I have so much creativity and love aching to be shared
Slowly I am finding the courage to share this with you
Spreading love as best I can in the hopes you too will embrace your truth
The truth that we are all energy
We are all the same
We are all one
So release love to the world,
And one way or another it will find its way back to you

She is the sun
Though clouds may block her
Or rain may damper her shine
Through it all, she is the sun
Waves are better with her
She makes flowers bloom
Children play beneath her
She is the sun
When night rolls around
And the moon overpowers
She is patiently waiting
To, after the darkness
Rise again and bring light to the world
She is the sun
She is warm
She gives and asks for nothing in return
She is strong and powerful
She is the sun

I want to discover myself in every way possible.
I want constant adventures and quiet nights under the stars
I want early mornings on the beach and long walks in the jungle
I want to find my bliss and my sanctuary
I want to find a place to call my home
A place where I feel safe and am nurtured in mother earths arms

I am just like every woman I've ever looked up to or admired.
I am a living, breathing heartbeat of everything I've loved.
The things I love the most are what shape me. Mold me into who I am and manifest such beauty and strength that I no longer yearn to have what other do, instead they inspire me to find the same beauty within myself.

Saying I am not like other girls isn't a compliment it is just a distortion of the truth. I am an embodiment of everything I have ever admired about other women.
Because, one by one, I have began to swallow these characteristics and allowed them to dissolve into me and become my own.

I may not be everything just yet, but give me time, because I promise you, soon enough, I will encompass everything I have ever admired and more.

Forgive yourself, forgive others.
Forgiveness will set us free.
We can never truly heal and be our true, divine selves if we don't let go. Let go of our hatred, anger, resentment, anything that has hurts us.
To forgive someone else is to love yourself.
Forgiveness is an act of self love.
By setting our demons free we open up space for our true divinity and strength to blossom. Our hearts will fill with love and an energy will grow inside of us and radiate through every pore on our body until eventually even the people around us will recognize that energy and learn to forgive and let go of their own demons.
By holding onto hatred we are only hurting ourselves. That negativity will grow in strength and consume our thoughts until our souls physically ache.
Love yourself, forgive.

The energy you give off is the energy you receive in return, so make your energy loving.
Making it powerful.
Your external living is a reflection of your inner state.
Live from within outwards and radiate love into the world.
Whatever you believe the universe is not serving you, is what you are withholding from the world.
If you feel like the world is holding back the love you rightfully deserve, it is because you are not releasing it.
Everything you want lies within yourself.
Project that to the world, truthfully and honestly, and that energy and abundance will find its way back to you.

The all powerful mother earth
We are constantly at her mercy and when we accept the uncertainty of every moment and every aspect of our external lives, only then we can truly find power within ourselves

I'm learning to fall absolutely and utterly in love with being alive.
With picking flowers to put in my hair on my walk home and feeling the sand between my toes.
With the smell of skin after a swim in the ocean and the feeling of diving head first into freezing cold waters.
With the sun beating down and kissing my skin as I write and the feeling of lil ants rushing up and down my legs.
I'm falling in love with all of my emotions.
With all the pain I've ever felt and all the lessons I've learnt.
With hugs from angels I get to call my friends and hot tea in the morning.
With fresh fruit and smoothie bowls made with love.
With the way my eyes see all the colour of the rainbow and the idea there's more I've never seen.
With the way music swirls up emotions inside of me and voices when they just wake up.
I'm falling in love with the way my mind works and all the knowledge I've got left to learn.
With different languages and with the way words can cast spells of creation.
With smiling at strangers as you walk past them and making new friends on the train.
I'm falling so deeply in love with myself and all of my 'flaws'.
With the wounds I'm learning to kiss and the body I'm blessed with.
I am falling completely and wholeheartedly in love with being alive.

That familiar smell of old, but loved paper that lingers around corner bookstores. You know the one. That makes you want to cuddle up by the window with a cup of tea and your favorite book. The one you find in books with creased pages and a yellow tint. The most loved book on the bookshelf. No longer in mint condition, but the perfect story nonetheless. He was like that book. Bent edges, some stains, but damn did he have a way with words. He would lure you in with the perfect syllables strung together effortlessly and hold you hostage. Captivated with the anticipation of what was waiting on the next page. So, out of your control, you kept reading, page by page, hoping this story, too good to be true, would never end.

As moon dust lingers around the edge of the water, the blue crystal surface reflects the light of the moon. The sound of crickets echoes throughout the trees as the birds begin to settle down for the night. Occasional rustling from the surrounding bushes as bandicoots and snakes go to bed. First I dip my toes in, the cold water sends shivers up my leg and into my body. In time with the music of the night, I dive head first into the pristine waters. A loud splash then nothing. Under the surface of the water a different world lingers. Silence and stillness engulfs me as I immerse myself deeper into the water. I open my eyes but all I can see is the hazy moon dust that has settled in the water, dissolving my view of my surroundings. But I am not scared, I do not fear the unknown. Instead I bask in the beauty of the stillness and emptiness of the infinite nothingness. Slowly I make my way up to the surface after what feels like hours submerged. I gasp for air and inhale the fresh air of the night. Gently I lay on my back, floating on the still water. I stare up at the moon and she stares back at me. In that moment all is right. In that moment everything else dissolves and I am alone, just me and the moon.

You can't compare your problems to someone else's. We are all in different stages of consciousness and on different frequencies. So what may be life altering to you may simply be another tuesday to someone else. People often think that their issues aren't enough to justify a feeling or justify talking about it. Let me tell you right now, they are. Just because someone may be going through something you perceive as "worse", doesn't mean you shouldn't seek help or bring light to what your going through. The first step in making something better or fixing a problem is allowing your emotions to be felt. Then you can learn from and heal these feelings. So no matter how insignificant or unimportant you believe your issues to be, please listen when I tell you they ARE important and they are always worth feeling. Know I am always here to listen to you and offer advice if I can, no matter how big or small, I am here. And so are so many other people wanting to help you. Let's be open for each other and rise together.

Meditation is the purest form of medication.
It heals even the deepest wounds, those you didn't even know needed healing.
Take time out of your day to sit in stillness.
Bask in the simplicity that is being.
Empty your mind.
Focus your energy.
And breathe....

I looked for happiness within you. I yearned for it. My desperation caused me to see only the light you gave me, ignoring all the darkness that came with it. The darkness that began to devour me and cover my soul like a blanket.
I now realise that I could not find true happiness within you. Nor could I find it in anyone else. True happiness, my happiness, could only be found within myself. My strong, beautiful, feminine body. Every curve and roll holds a piece of my happiness and only when I accept these parts of myself can I gain the happiness they hold.
Happiness is a state of being, it is not tangible. Happiness, for me, is self acceptance, self love and a true and divine understanding of myself as a woman and as a child of the universe.
Happiness is the feeling inside me when my bare feet meet the cold ocean and the sand beneath my feet is carved out and I am pulled into the loving arms of the ocean, the gentle hold of mother earth. Dancing in the waves, the hot sun beating down on my sunkissed skin. For me, this is happiness.

Writing has become so sacred to me. I hear whispers through the the bones of stories. Reminding me of ancient wisdom and fairy tales wrapped in truths. Words leak out from the inkwell that is my soul and are brought to life by the wonder that is this human vessel. My heart beats faster at the thought of birthing poems, creating art. Transforming a memory, a thought, an imagination. Turning nothingness into reality. Manifesting the depths of my soul to be seen by other humans and to be understood by fellow angels who walk this planet we call earth. Casting spells and healing my inner world, in turn, heals the external. Writing my truth, sharing authenticity and vulnerability, vibrating at a frequency of complete and utter truth and love heals this world. If we all looked deep within ourselves and wrote what we found this world could begin to bandage its deeply ingrained wounds.

Quiet your mind
The world may seem so loud at times, but learn to hear past that. She is trying to tell you something. Beneath all the hustle and bustle the world is talking to you. Asking for help, sending you love, showing you her abundance. All you need to do is listen. Learn to listen to what's important, the truths that are meant for you.
Listen to all the I love you's and all the thankyou's. Listen to the tides breaking and the wind whistling between the leaves. Listen to those babies giggling and those belly laughs. Learn to hear the love in this world.
Simply quiet your mind and listen.
I promise it's not hiding, in fact it's waiting to be heard.

inside her lived an ancient spirit
an all-knowing source
a wise one
it made home in the part of her where women run with wolves
and reason lingers among instincts
when experienced, it's existences became apparent
but to those yet to experience, it could not be proved
for it could not be captured, described or tamed
art, poetry, dance, music is as close as one could come
to personifying this spirit
this force that burnt within her
this wild women within us all

let's go on an adventure
let's get lost together
with the full moon watching over us
let's jump the fence of our boundaries
ride the waves of our limitations
discover hidden fairy garden and parts of ourselves
make friends with the mermaids
and learn the secrets of the starfish
Run through fields of wildflowers
use their stems to sew up our wounds
lie under the blanket of stars
in an open field with an open heart
hand in hand
just the three of us,
and the moon

As I shatter
As I crumble into a million pieces.
As I fall apart
Each piece is falling into place.
Right where it's meant to be
Uncovering new layers
Only for them to shatter
Like a snakes skin
I shed layer after layer
Everytime crumbling
Falling further into where I'm meant to be

Although I may act like I have everything worked out, the truth is I don't. In fact I'm not even close. Just because I talk about something, even preach it, doesn't mean it'll be easy to implement into my own life. Pretending like I am always happy can be exhausting and although I always talk about surrendering to every emotion that passes through you, accepting it and letting it go, I still find it hard sometimes to do this. I feel guilty when I'm not happy, maybe even scared. Scared of the familiarity of feeling this way. Scared that the way I used to be, the way I used to feel, will return. But deep down I know that's not true, I have grown from where I was and learnt so much. I have used my pain and turned it into strength. I know that I will never go back to the way I used to be and damn that's for the best. But I'm still scared. Because, like I said, sometimes it's hard to implement the things you know, hard to absorb what you preach. 
I am still hurting. Some days more then others but nonetheless it's there. I have tried and tried to resolve these painful feelings but one way or another they creep back in. I thought with closure I could stop these feelings but I now know that these will only heal with time. So I will continue to write, meditate, do what makes me happy, do things that I know will help me to accept these emotions and hopefully one day let go of them. I know how happy I can be (and more often than not I am so super happy!) so I will do everything to try and heal myself so I can always be that happy. I will allow my emotions to flow through me. I will allow them to teach me what they need to and I will dissect them until I understand their root. But overall, time is the only way that I will truly heal. 
So yes, I will still preach about everything I belief in and all the wisdom I have learned, but please don't expect me to have it all worked out. Don't expect me to have absorbed everything at once. Accept that even when I am not super happy I am still living from a place of love. I am grateful for the abundance of emotions I can feel and I accept them. And if you take anything from this, it's please, please, try to do the same. Be grateful for your pain, live from a place of love, I promise, in time things will heal. 

Perhaps the moon
shines as brightly as she does
because she saw the sun
and he reminded her
of the light already within her.

Your love was vicious, intense, and captivating
Like a moth to a light I couldn't help but be drawn in
But darling I wouldn't have changed it for the world
The pain made me stronger than I've ever been
I survived the abyss and came out with having rediscovered my wings
Your love will forever be in my memories
Although it's now a distant memory,
I would much prefer that painful memory over no memory at all
I may not have been enough, or maybe I was too much
But either way I hope you find what you're looking for
That person who is soft enough to nurture you
Yet strong enough to survive you
But remember that if you ever need some love
I'll always have some love to share

Every demon I've faced
Every wall I have hit
Each time I have fallen
Each time I have drowned
I have used each and every one
To bloom
My scars blossom into wildflowers
Lining my skin
Reminding me I survived
Each victory and each defeat
Each time making me stronger
You may not be able to see it
But trust me when I tell you it's there
The wildfire coursing through my veins
Lighting my soul on fire
A fierce flame burning within me
And each and every day I grow stronger
So watch out
Because you and me
We will set this world on fire

I thought I couldn't be okay without you
I thought you were what was holding me together
And without you I would crumble
I entangled my happiness with yours
And forgot what it felt like without you
I thought you were the only one for me
I didn't know how I would survive without you
But when you left I discovered something
When I was centimeters from hitting the ground
I discovered I had wings
I remembered that I held the power to fly
So now I am flying
Without you
I am soaring higher than ever before

Petals tightly wrapped
Hugging the deepest parts of me
The raw, complex truths of myself
When shared with someone else my petals open
I bloom, cautiously revealing myself
This was difficult for a long time
As I thought my petals were more beautiful
Than what lurked beneath
But in time I have learned that my petals
My shell
My vessel
Are there with the sole purpose to protect what's inside
So when the time comes I can open up
To reveal my true beauty
When I finally feel safe once again I can open my petals
And let the love,
And pain,
And light,
And darkness
Pour out and flow gently down the petals
Coating them in pure, raw, authentic magic

Your scars are your beauty
I never wanted perfection
I never wanted fake smiles, I wanted the pain that lurked beneath
I never wanted bandaids, I wanted the broken pieces of your heart
Not because I wanted to fix you, but because I wanted you
In all your brokenness, in all your authenticity
I wanted the true you
Because in learning to accept your pain, you will begin to heal it

So fuck showing people the neat, tidy parts of yourself
Fuck hiding the dark, hard to handle, truth
Roar your truth from the rooftops
If people can't handle it then they weren't meant to be there
But for the few that can handle it
Hold on to them
Because they will learn to roar along side you
And together you will show the world the true power of raw, unfiltered authenticity.

up of the universe
held together by stardust
soft enough to be seen
bright enough to light the cosmos
gentle and powerful
master of the tides
queen of the night sky
she is feminine
she is la luna

So many people forget the power they possess
They forget the strength they hold within them
The wings that are hidden in every human
They rely on others to fuel their energy
Entangling their happiness with others
When really they already hold all the happiness they could ever want
In fact, the happiness you are absorbing from others is already within you
Somewhere deep maybe
But you are a mirror that only reflects what's already a part of you

I'm sitting on a wooden porch
The wood painted every colour of the rainbow is chipping away with age
The bones of the house old and overflowing with stories
Aching to break free of the confines of the four walls
The light from the sun reflecting off a wind chime hanging from the railing
Flecks of rainbow light dance around me
I look out into a vast jungle
Palm trees arch down around me
Nurturing me in their gentle embrace
Coconuts and wildflowers grow in abundance all around
The sweet smell of damp leaves and salt echoes through the jungle
On the other side of the trees I can hear the sea
Calling out to me
Singing it's enchanting song
I hear the waves crashing against the soft sand
Stardust in the form of tiny grains of shells
Salt dries on my lips leaving a taste lingering on my tongue
My hair curly and crispy from the salt that has settled there
Down the steps I carry myself
The grass, soft and cool, entangles itself between my toes
Pressing down gently under the soles of my feet
Above me the sun shines fiercely onto my bare skin
Kissing every inch of my body
I make my way past trees, moving banana leaves from my path
Stepping over fallen trees and the insects who have found refuge within them
The sound of the ocean becomes clearer with each step
Soon I can see the crystal blue water and hear it's presents
Sand nestles between my toes
The soft, familiar feeling of a place I call home lingers in the air
Into the waves I dive
Off to join the fairies and mermaids who I made friends with as a child
Reacquainting myself with the friends I had long forgotten
I settle on the water's surface
As the waves carry me safely back to shore
The heat from the sand warms my body as I press my skin into it
The whole world falls away around me
And time dissolves into nothingness
In this moment I am at peace
In complete stillness
I am in paradise

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